A Sunday Football Pack Fight
December 6th, 2009 by slangon

pack_clash_banner

2009 Philadelphia Football Rack Pack vs. 2009 Mayo Football Rack Pack

From the outset, Philly had a bit of an advantage due to the fact that it had 20 cards, as compared to Mayo’s 12 cards. We’ll see how that worked out for them.

First up, the Philadelphia Football.
#87 Dwight Freeney
#78 Matt Schaub
#179 Oshiomogho Atogwe
09PHILLYatogwe+1 point for having a crazy name. +1 point for being described on the back of the card as “an absolute bullhawk”.
#147 Asante Samuel
09PHILLYsamuel-1 point for making me sweat as a Giants fan.
#186 Ronde Barber
09PHILLYbarber+1 point for being Tiki’s brother.
#75 A.J. Hawk
#137 Jamarcus Russell
#175 Steven Jackson
09PHILLYjackson+1 point for reaching 1,000 yards, again.
#48 Brayon Edwards
09PHILLYedwards+1 point for being a Jet.
#16 Joe Flacco
09PHILLYflacco+1 point for leading the Ravens to the AFC Championship game last year. +1 points for doing it as a rookie. -1 point for not winning.
#192 Albert Haynesworth
09PHILLYhaynesworth+2 points for being a giant (It would’ve been more had he been a Giant).
#163 Frank Gore
09PHILLYgore+1 for having a last name that is also a verb describing what a bull does when it attacks you.
#19 Derrick Mason
#58 DeMarcus Ware
#70 DeWayne White
#61 Tony Scheffler
#73 Greg Jennings
#64 D.J. Williams
#14 Harry Douglas
#144 Correll Buckhalter

Well, Philly started off pretty good and then just petered out at the end. They did end up with 8 points, which surprised even me, since I really don’t like this set. As a matter of fact, I really only bought this pack in the hopes of pulling either some Giants or some of them National Chicle inserts, and since I didn’t get either, I’m deducting 5 points in a fit of sour grapes.

Onto the Mayo.
#211 Peyton Manning
09MAYOmanning
+3 points for being undefeated so far.
#266 John D. Rockefeller
09MAYOrockefeller-1 point for being a robber baron.
#77 Donald Driver
#152 Kevin Williams
#215 Robert Jarvik
09MAYOjarvik
+1 point for allowing mankind to just get a new heart when they ruin their old one through a lifetime of bad health decisions.
#140 Julius Peppers
09MAYOpeppers
+1 point for having a cool name. +1 point for looking truly happy to see me.
#264 Tyson Jackson Mini Gold Border
09MAYOjacksonMini
+1 point for being a rookie. +1 point for being a mini. +2 points for being made out of gold.
#260 Edgerrin James Silver
09MAYOjames
+1 point for doing your part to discourage pack searchers.
#29 Bobby Wade
#263 Troy Polamalu
09MAYOpolamalu
+2 points for the hair.
#144 Clara Barton
09MAYObarton
+1 point for founding the Red Cross.
#209 Percy Harvin

Even without any penalties Mayo was victorious with 13 points. But being the commissioner, I will additionally award Mayo 100 points for looking so good while they beat the snot out of Philly.

End o’ story.

Leave a Reply